Best Cities for Naked Gardening
Where can you safely — and legally — tend to your carrots and petunias in your birthday suit? To mark World Naked Gardening on May 6, LawnStarter has uncovered 2023’s Best Cities for Naked Gardening.
They compared the 200 biggest U.S. cities based on nudist population size, indecent exposure laws, and, of course, gardener-friendliness. They also looked at weather forecasts, access to waxing salons, and sex offender listings, among 12 total metrics.
See the ten best cities for gardening au naturel (and the ten cities to stay clothed in the yard) below, followed by key stats from their report.
| Best Cities for Naked Gardening | |
| Rank | City |
| 1 | Miami, FL |
| 2 | Austin, TX |
| 3 | Atlanta, GA |
| 4 | Philadelphia, PA |
| 5 | Los Angeles, CA |
| 6 | Orange, CA |
| 7 | Pasadena, CA |
| 8 | Seattle, WA |
| 9 | Houston, TX |
| 10 | Raleigh, NC |
I was really shocked to see Raleigh on this list. It isn’t that progressive. But somehow Pasadena and Los Angeles didn’t surprise me.
| Worst Cities for Naked Gardening | |
| Rank | City |
| 1 | West Valley City, UT |
| 2 | Sioux Falls, SD |
| 3 | Fort Wayne, IN |
| 4 | Worcester, MA |
| 5 | Springfield, MA |
| 6 | Laredo, TX |
| 7 | Anchorage, AK |
| 8 | St. Paul, MN |
| 9 | Warren, MI |
| 10 | Newark, NJ |
I understand why most of these states are on the list they are all known for very cold weather. Who wants to garden naked while it is freezing cold? Am I right?
- Stick It Where the Sun Shines: Florida’s biggest cities aren’t shy to reveal their most skintimate sides. Four of the five cities with the most nudists (when adjusted by total population) are located in the Sunshine State, including Orlando at No. 1. In third place is Atlanta. They have to bronze those smooth, shiny Georgia peaches somehow.
- Unrequited Love: Among our bottom 10, one city stands out: St. Paul, Minnesota (No. 193). Minneapolis’ twin clearly has a soft spot for nude gardening — it ranked No. 15 in related Google searches. However, St. Paul prefers its residents to stay decent while planting their bulbs — the city ranked third-worst overall in nude gardener-friendliness.
- Wild Swings: If you plan to garden in the buff on World Naked Gardening Day, stay out of Spokane, Washington, the city with the highest forecasted wind speed at 17 mph. That’s what the National Weather Service considers a “moderate breeze,” enough to “move small branches” and perhaps other loose bits from your undercarriage.
- Midnight in the Garden of Lewd and Evil: Generally, nudity on private property is outlawed in the U.S., but intention matters. Austin, Philadelphia, and Seattle (the birthplace of World Naked Gardening Day) are among the five cities that let gardeners use their hoes with nothing but gloves. Consider a privacy fence.
- Fruitloose: New Yorkers don’t just love to let their tomatoes and eggplants dangle from a vertical plant wall — they’re interested in letting gravity take the wheel while watering their veggie gardens. The Big Apple placed first in both urban gardening-friendliness and Google searches for naked gardening-related terms.
- Thou Shalt Not Steal — a Glance: Loot someone else’s harvest, and you’ll be slapped with trespassing and theft charges at a minimum. Peeping could land you in more legal hot water. Naked green thumbs hailing from Santa Clarita, California, need not worry so much about guarding their crops — or the family jewels. The city registered the fewest sex offenders per capita.
- A Cut Above — or Below: Bushes overgrown? Whether a dense thicket has formed in your garden or below your gardening tool belt, Miami is the best place for trimming both your actual and personal lawns. The Magic City outranked the competition in both gardening supplies (No. 1) and hair removal services per square mile (No. 2).
